Friday, March 11, 2022

NF: How Could You Leave Us



I know that I’ve called this blog The Cringe, but for this first entry, I want to look at something that is good.

Cringe

I’ve listened to several of NF’s songs, and one word I not use to describe any of them is “cringe”, and that is especially true of this one.

Summary

The rapper NF performs a song about losing his mother to drugs, and about growing up with a mother he barely knows because of her addiction. There is nothing lite or frivolous about this song.

Thoughts

Many people have posted reaction videos while listening to this song, giving their insights and responses to what NF is saying. I’d recommend finding some of them, to see how much this song, and others he’s written and performed, have affected people.

What is the difference between “cringey” and “moving”? Between “painful” is the sense of it being cheesy and “painful” in the sense that it’s too real?

If most Christian musicians or song writers did a song about mother, either a specific mother or mothers in general, it would be much different than NF’s song. To revel a bit in alliteration, it would be soppy, sappy, syrupy, and saccharine. Heaven pays extra special attention when mother prays, or memories of mother draw the wayward back home. Mother would become the ultimate saint, perhaps no longer even a little lower than the angels.

It would be almost unheard of for a Christian music artists to put out a song like NF’s, where the mother is seen as the one in the wrong, where the mother is the one with the big faults, where the mother is the one not there for her children, and where the son is almost in a rage, grieving and accusing, remembering times she should been there but wasn’t, knowing that she will not be there when he has his own children because her addiction finally and ultimately took her from him.

In the world of yippy-skippy Christian music, or of yippy-skippy Christian entertainment in general, this song is an anomaly; rather, NF is an anomaly, and one much needed.

But it’s one thing to say all that, to point to NF and this song as good examples, but what does that mean?

I don’t think it means we need to be grittier. That kind of thing can be just as fake as yippy-skippy. Also, I know there are movies and shows that I like that aren’t “gritty”, some of them are not necessarily all that realistic, but they still say something worth hearing or seeing.

I don’t think it means we need to focus only on the ugly side of life. Again, that can be just as fake. And we know life isn’t all ugly.

I don’t think it means we need to downplay hope.

Let me give an example of something that may show what I’m trying to say.

When we arrive at Good Friday, it’s becoming common to want to rush past that day, to saying something like “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming”. We seem to want to get past the bad stuff, the bad feelings, and get on to the good stuff. We, we church people who at least claim to be Christians, at least those of us in the US or the west in general, don’t want to deal with the bad, the ugly, the terrible. We have, for example, created a theology that says that God wants us to have only good things, that he wants us to be healthy and wealthy, that he wants us to have nice families, that he wants us to feel fulfilled and happy, and all we have to do is say the right words, repeat affirmations to ourselves over and over and over, or do some other magical act to make it all work for us.

If we acknowledge Christian persecution, it is usually “over there”, or maybe when we want to feel like we’re being brave and heroic, we point to some little difficulty in the culture, maybe some cashier at a store who says “Happy Holiday” instead of “Merry Christmas”, and we paint that as if it’s real persecution.

We are silly and trite. It is any wonder that we can only produce silly and trite entertainment, and that we only want to watch and listen to silly and trite entertainment?

So, instead of jumping past Good Friday to get to Easter Sunday, let’s stay for a while in Friday. Let Good Friday have its fair 24 hours of our lives.

Let’s remember that God killed God. God the Father sacrificed God the Son, and God the Son willingly laid down his life as a sacrifice, as the Lamb of God sent to take away the sins of the world.

Let’s have at least one day of solemnity, of sober-mindedness, even of mourning. Let’s set aside this need to jump to the next good time. Let’s remember with sober gratitude the sacrifice of Jesus. If we do that, we may find that Easter will be all the more meaningful.

What makes a lot of Christian entertainment cringey is this need to get past the bad to get to the good. Even if the bad is acknowledged, it’s more to get to some quick hyper-spiritual answer, or teach some kind of lesson, or maybe get to a “Things are going bad for me so I’ll pray and everything will work out fine for me” resolution.

We can do better.

Ponderings

Keep it real: Of course, NF makes what he calls Real Music, and this song seems about as real as entertainment gets. Even for sci-fi and fantasy types of stories, there is a real-ness that can give those stories a bit of extra impact.

Emotions vs emotionalism: This is a distinction I heard in a Martin Lloyd Jones sermon, and it sums up the thing that often bugs me with entertainment, especially Christian entertainment.

Emotions are good, they have their place; emotionalism is just manipulation, a cheap reaction.

What’s the difference?

One big difference I see is this: emotions are linked to the mind, they are an informed response to what we’re learning; emotionalism tries to by-pass the mind to play at the heart.

NF’s song is highly emotional, but it’s emotional because it’s very thought-provoking. It’s not a detached philosophical musing about seeing a parent make choices that are both self-destructive and also damaging to her children, but it’s also not some kind maudlin pack of cheap sentiments and empty words meant to stir feelings without also causing self-reflection.

Get your theology in order: This relates to the first point, and it’s not something I’m really taking away from this song. I know little about NF. I know he considers him either a Christian rapper or a Christian who raps, and I can guess that his beliefs are not along the lines of “God wants us to be happy and never feel bad”, because he does have songs about his own bad feelings and struggles with mental issues, but that’s about the most I can about his beliefs.

Sound theology is real, sound theology is real life. The Christian is the last person who should not be able to face reality. Sound doctrine can help the Christian face the bad—ours sinfulness, the effects of sin on the world, and even the effects of sin on many people’s afterlife—and the good—God’s blessings and mercy, the gospel of Christ dying for our sins, and salvation from sin and Hell.

This is one reason I have little patience with fairy-tale theologies, those who teach that “You should never say that you are sick” and “You need to speak to yourself that you’re rich, that you’re a success”. They are essentially telling us to lie, and God would never tell us to lie. We would be better off to face the truths that sound theology teach us, the truths about our own sinfulness and helpless and how God has by his own hand worked to save us when we cannot save ourselves, than to believe such fantasies.

Conclusion

Give NF a shot, even if rap isn’t music you like very well. He is not the typical rapper in any respect, and that’s a very good thing.

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